Open letter to all the people at the gym I attend.
Dear you guys,
I think it’s pretty cool that we are all at the gym right now. It’s Saturday. We should be rolling around in bed eating pizza and watching Netflix while screaming “mom can you bake me a cake” because that’s what people do on weekends right? Or is that just me? Anyway, that’s besides the point. The point is I drank so much vodka lastnight and was up until 4 am yet somehow mustered up the energy to get my booty up and work out. So what if I’m just sitting on the spin bike riding without any direction. Who really cares that I’ve only burned 287 calories in the 33 minutes I’ve been sitting on this bike for (that’s really horrible. Shame on me). Anyways, I wanted to start with the positives (kind of) before I jump right into the negatives. So here comes the cranky tired hungover side of me. At what point do you guys draw the line at making “work out sounds”? I mean, I get it. You need to breathe. That’s fine, I really understand. What I’m having a difficult time understanding is the moaning. The very loud moaning. The girls in the corner who have been giggling for 25 minutes but rarely doing a thing. I honesty love to laugh, I am not a fun killer. I do it all the time. Laughing is awesome. My problem is that you’ve distracted me from my boring time because I just want to join you girls. This has caused me to write about it on my blog. To the guy on the floor infront of me: What is it exactly that you want to accomplish by saying mean things to your girlfriend? Shes 110 pounds at most and if you would get your head out of your ass you’d see that the only thing you two (or just you actually) should be working on is your attitude before she leaves you. Now to the guy standing on the ball to the right of me. No joke. He’s standing on a bouncy ball. He sounds so frustrated that he keeps falling off. But haven’t we as humans at one point or another come to terms with the fact that we can not stand on balls for an extended period of time? I know there’s no class in school about it but I promise you that if you stopped trying to stand on it you’d have less red falling marks on your legs. To the elderly lady hiding behind a wall to work out… I wish you’d stop. There’s no reason you should be embarrassed. You are making an example of what we should all look up to. You’re working harder than anyone in my view yet you have your breath under control and putting the rest of us to shame….And to me …Well… I need to stop writing open letters to people who will never likely see them and maybe work out instead hahaha. Maybe I would be laughing with someone and not with myself if I got off of my phone. Maybe I’d be breathing loud if I challenged myself. Maybe I’d be sweating so much that I’d want to hide. Yet here I am. Typing this. Hahahaha. Okay I should really stop. Sorry for the rant. Also, I’m at 365 calories now. Amazing how my legs don’t kill when my mind is occupied.
Hope your Saturday is as entertaining as I find myself Hahahaha xx
Update: I am eating this which is all 400 calories I burned off today.
Worth it. So. Damn. Worth. it.
Tomorrow. Back to the gym I’ll go.
Wonder Of My Worlds 
You crack me up! I could totally picture each thing!!! I like to mock on the guys who spend more time walking….pacing the floor so people can see them than they do actually lifting. Then when they lift it is like three reps…. Then it’s pace the floor again as if to say “did y’all just see that???? Huh???? Did you???”
Hahahahaha i very much make fun of those people in my head but now it’ll be on here.
Dear esssssssssssssssssss… dang. My finger stuck again. Thank for this insightful heads up for me, just me… me me me me me me me… HAHA I just joined Planet Fitness here in PSJ yesterday. OMG. This should be interesting. First of all, define “elderly” cause I need to know. I get my introductory whatchamacallit on Tuesday afternoon @ 2 o’clock. Now I’m wondering if it is really 1 o’clock since the clocks change and all that jazz. But I digress AGAIN. If my wounds from my crazy fall heal up they’ll let me do some stuff. Do I need to learn to make awkward and guteral sounds? Is there a YouTube tutorial for that? Email it to me, OKay? I want to lose 20 pounds before April 12th but I don’t want to have to adjust my diet. Those chips and daily Cokes are real important to me these days. Now I’m rethinking this whole gym thing cause I enjoy baking cakes and making fudge a whole lot more than I do participating in what you described here. And I only have a stupid phone. What will I do to distract myself? Maybe take cookbooks along. This should be interesting… You KNOW I’ll keep you updated on my progress or non progress. HAHAHA!!!
Haha wohooo!!! You’ll love the gym. She wasn’t old but she was older than me. Id say she looked about late 60s. Do not make any sounds. You’ll be THAT PERSON. Nobody wants to be that person. Nobody wants to be friends with that person. Nobody wants to work out with that person hahaha 20 pounds is a lot! Don’t think you need to but remember it’s 80% diet and 20% working out. So it’s all about what goes in your body. Go to the gym and write a cook book to share with all of us!!! Good luck!!!!!!
Oh my! You’re so frickin’ funny! I literally laughed aloud when I read this because not only can I vividly imagine each thing happening, I too agree with everything written. Such as, the moaning thing. LOL It is true that, you know, your breathing increases while doing physically exhausting activities but sometimes the breaths and grunts begin to sound almost sexual and it’s so distracting! (Especially when it comes from attractive people haha.) Anywho, awesome post! Definitely following your blog. Hope you have a great day!
Hahaha thank you!!! Im so glad others agree. I tried to paint a visual for you guys because I needed others to understand exactly what was going on. Thank you:) will follow back!
Phew. Late 60’s so I have 7 or 8 years to be semi-elderly. I’m not really going to lose 20 pounds before the cruise but I can dream. My doctor would kill me if I lost that much and then I couldn’t go. Now I can’t wait for Tuesday cause I’m so going to pay attention to my gym mates and take notes. We could write a book. That would be hilarious.
Look who’s talking about diet!!! I’m gonna choke here on my chips. Isn’t that what’s commonly called a Turtle candy in your hand? LOL But I really am going to start watching what I eat when I start the gym thing. I’ll watch it go from my plate to my mouth. Bad joke.
I need fashion advice. They said to wear whatever is comfortable. I think my pajamas are awesome. Tell me what y’all wear, OKay? And they said you can’t wear flip-flops. What kind of gym is this anyhow?
This post of yours, S, is so timely. Perfectly timed. Speaking of that… gotta change the clocks ahead now. Ugh.
Oh my gosh, you’re hilarious. I have asked these same questions (and then some) on the days that I actually stop making excuses and go to the gym. Definitely give you props for going on the weekend. Though today the bf and I walked a lot and I got over 13,000 steps in…so that’s something. Though we walked to a chinese buffet…so I think that negates all the good work lol the struggle is real.
what did you eat? looks like… death. or stuffed mushrooms, lol.
My gosh no. It was a piece of chocolate. Walnuts, caramel and milk chocolate cluster.
oooooohhhhh. yesh, that sounds like it’s to die for ^^
I’m probably wrong, but the way I’m seeing your descriptions we must go to the same gym! But then again I think the grunting and moaning guys are at all gym along with the giggling girls. But hey girll props on going to the gym on a weekend! Pass that motivation on to me please ! Loved this post.
Hahaha I think we all have those people at the gym. They’re so dramatic with their sounds. Thank you!!! I was proud to have went on a Saturday. Like I said im usually rolling around in pizza and cake Hahahaa Xx
Hahah I LOVED this post! There’s a gentleman at my gym who grunts so loudly I hear him through my headphones! It drives me crazy!
Hahahah thank you! Yes they’re everywhere. The worst