Diary screaming out loud 

Laying down in bed and for some reason I can’t seem to fall asleep again. It’s 5 am and I work soon so you’d think I’d try to get as much shut eye as possible but it appears that I am up with my thoughts…yet again. I hate when this happens lol. I usually save quotes on my phone that in one way or another speak to me and since I was up tossing and turning I decided to go through them. I found this one and remembered exactly why I saved this, who it was about and how it made me feel so I thought I would share since I know there’s not a chance I’m the only person who can relate to it. It’s actually kind of upsetting when you come to terms with who someone is vs who you thought/want them to be. In a way, it’s like losing that person…am I right? You have this false image that you’ve created of someone and there’s really nobody else to blame but yourself. I mean, I did it to myself…I created this image of that person and it somehow connected to a feeling that now I don’t even know ever existed and then I ultimately let myself down. It’s also tough when you go from having someone in your everyday to not thinking about them at all…until you’re up restless at 5 am. I don’t even know what’s worse for me, losing this image of this person and losing them or not caring nearly as much as I thought I would. I don’t really know where I’m going with this post or if any of it is making sense lol but I guess it’s in my best interest to get up and shower. Apologies for the venting and the run on sentences hahaha xx

8 thoughts on “Diary screaming out loud 

  1. Parallel mornings here… I was awake at 4:30 a.m. going through similar thoughts… with a little bit of a different view… but your words are perfect & you’ve nothing for which to apologize. Hope we can both keep our eyes open today! xoxoxx

    A wise person once said to me, “People only have their kind of love to give.” Makes tons of sense, I guess.

  2. Great post and I feel what you are saying. I met a man last year, fell hard for him, projected what I wanted on him and then blamed him when he didn’t live up to what I wanted him to be, causing me a lot of heartache that was my own doing! So I know of what you speak! and I even told myself when I first met him that I had to be careful not to do that again, I’ve done it before, fallen in love with being in love, not with who the man really is…sometimes I’m my own worst enemy! but I think that an awareness of this trait is ultimately what will help me to not do it again! I hope….. Namaste, Michelle 🙂

  3. Two thoughts…authenticity is often difficult…often due to fear or lack of self-worth. Second…projecting is human nature…unfortunately. Oh, I also like GRAMMYG53’s quote!
    Thanks for sharing to you both!

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